The day we found out...
"We found out we are having a boy today! Instead of letting the ultrasound tech tell us we had her put it in an envelope and then we brought it home and Summer read, "It's a boy" to us. Tony and I were hoping for a boy since we already have a girl, so we are super excited! At first Summer was a little disappointed that we weren't giving her a sister but now she's super happy! Especially after I told her that I dressed my little brother up in dresses and put makeup on him. Sorry Blake!
Happy news right? Yeah, well let's back up to the part where I almost lost my patience with my OB. Before we could get to the exciting part of gender we were told some news that has us turning wheels and trying to figure out where to put our trust. They told us that the baby possibly has a very small cleft lip/palate. At first I was okay. I didn't want to talk about it because no one could tell me they were 100% sure that they know that my baby had one. They want to send me to a specialist and I am okay with that. But why make a big deal and make me feel like I should be upset or freaking out when I honestly wanted them to stop talking about it and just make an appointment and at the time of that appointment, I would talk to that doctor about it and we could make an action plan. To me it's stupid wasting time talking about something no one knows for sure." - Excerpt from my journal on September 4th.
So all of those feelings on that day had me in compete defense mode. My poor husband... on the way home I cried, screamed and cried some more. I blamed the ultrasound tech, the nurse and our doctor. I needed someone to take the blame because in my head I was blaming myself. Did I do something wrong? Was it because I couldn't take my prenatal vitamins until recently? Of course they were the easy target, they were the barriers of the bad news. So fast forwarding back to the gender reveal... when I got home, I was an emotional wreck. My eyes were red and puffy and I was full of anger. How on earth was I going to put a smile on my face and let our daughter read our ultrasound? I wanted it to be this perfect little moment that we would cherish for the rest of our lives and share with our new bundle of joy when he/she was old enough to hear about his birth story. Well, that's simple. Have your 6 year old daughter give you a hug and make a joke! Summer had me smiling so big that I was ready to do our gender reveal. I will never forget her face and body language when she read, "It's a... boy." Her voice got lower and her shoulders shrunk. So in reality, it is a day we will never forget!
Picture via {Pam's Clip Art}
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