I'm beginning this one with one of my favorite worship songs right now, "Beautiful Things".
All this pain
I wonder if I'll ever find my way?
I wonder if my life could really change at all?
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
If you haven't had the chance to listen to this song, I encourage you to do it. Right now it means more than what it use to but when I had some pretty dark moments and I let myself think that I would never be good enough for anyone and this song was a fresh of breath air. But now, it means that no matter what, my son will be beautiful because he is made in Jesus' image.
I was pretty lucky to come to terms with the diagnosis early on. I prayed for the doctors to not find a cleft at all and if they did that it wouldn't be severe. The most amazing prayer ever made by me or any of our prayer warriors was that we would find peace. By the time I had rested my head on my pillow the night of the diagnosis I felt PEACE. I had faith in my God so deep that I knew he had this just as he has everything else. I knew he was going to use us to do something greater and our little man was a big part of that plan.
At the same time, I vowed to do something good, whether it was this blog or find some way to help mothers grieving some of the same things I was grieving at the moment. The biggest grievance was nursing. I didn't want to give that up. I had nursed my daughter until she was 4 months old and I was sad when I had to give that up because my work schedule was depleting my supply. I was so excited that God had provided me the opportunity to stay home with our new little one so I was making it a goal to get to 1 year exclusively breast feeding. Well, with a Cleft affected palate that dream went down the drain. But Faith is bringing me through. I am going to enjoy this pregnancy like normal, we will have a few extra appointments to attend to educate and prepare ourselves for the cleft itself but other than that I'm just going to complain about my back hurting, eat things that will ensure a few extra pounds of weight and love every movement inside of me.
All this pain
I wonder if I'll ever find my way?
I wonder if my life could really change at all?
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
If you haven't had the chance to listen to this song, I encourage you to do it. Right now it means more than what it use to but when I had some pretty dark moments and I let myself think that I would never be good enough for anyone and this song was a fresh of breath air. But now, it means that no matter what, my son will be beautiful because he is made in Jesus' image.
I was pretty lucky to come to terms with the diagnosis early on. I prayed for the doctors to not find a cleft at all and if they did that it wouldn't be severe. The most amazing prayer ever made by me or any of our prayer warriors was that we would find peace. By the time I had rested my head on my pillow the night of the diagnosis I felt PEACE. I had faith in my God so deep that I knew he had this just as he has everything else. I knew he was going to use us to do something greater and our little man was a big part of that plan.
At the same time, I vowed to do something good, whether it was this blog or find some way to help mothers grieving some of the same things I was grieving at the moment. The biggest grievance was nursing. I didn't want to give that up. I had nursed my daughter until she was 4 months old and I was sad when I had to give that up because my work schedule was depleting my supply. I was so excited that God had provided me the opportunity to stay home with our new little one so I was making it a goal to get to 1 year exclusively breast feeding. Well, with a Cleft affected palate that dream went down the drain. But Faith is bringing me through. I am going to enjoy this pregnancy like normal, we will have a few extra appointments to attend to educate and prepare ourselves for the cleft itself but other than that I'm just going to complain about my back hurting, eat things that will ensure a few extra pounds of weight and love every movement inside of me.
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